Did you know that the concept of marriage is on God’s heart? He loves marriages, the union of one man with one woman! The very first marriage recorded is between Adam and Eve. But today, we’re going to talk about your marriage and how you can pray for your marriage to be strengthened, to be restored, to be better than it is.
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I have received several emails and messages from women asking for prayer for their marriages. As I read the details of their stories, my heart breaks for them as I am familiar with some of their experiences.
As I pray for them, I think of how the enemy is out to destroy marriages. Why? Because he knows that God designed marriages and since he hates God, he will do whatever he can to destroy what God has designed.
While satan may sometimes win some battles, he won’t win them all. Your marriage belongs to God and so I’m praying for you.
But, more importantly, I want to share with you how you can be praying for your marriage to be saved, or, even how to strengthen your marriage through the power of prayer. I want to teach you how to pray for your marriage. Are you ready?
A Wife’s Prayer Calendar
I want you to have this prayer calendar that I designed for you called A Wife’s 31 Days of Prayer for Her Marriage. It will give you a whole month of Scriptures to pray for your marriage. It’s easy to use as you read the daily theme along with the Scripture reference.
Let’s look at it first before we go any further. Download or print your calendar and look at the
So for Day 1, you begin by praying for yourself. Look up Genesis 2:18-19 to see the full text so you can pray in accordance with the Word of God.
This prayer calendar isn’t just for troubled marriages, it’s for all marriages because all marriages can be strengthened.
So pray for yourself because it all begins with you. You can’t pray for your husband asking God to change him if you are not willing to let God change you too.
On Day 2, you will pray for your husband and yes, it is a prayer for you to reverence or respect your husband. Husbands need the respect of their wives. I don’t think we fully understand this concept but that is how God designed us. Men are to love their wives while wives are to respect their husbands.
And on it goes, praying for your children, his integrity, your integrity and so on.
Let these prayer times be led by Holy Spirit as you intercede for your marriage.
Pray for the Obstacles in Your Marriage
There are obstacles strewn about the path that you need to deal with. Some obstacles are easier to overcome than others. Let’s talk about a few of them and what you can do about them if these are your obstacles.
- drug addiction
- anger, temper
- abusive, cruelty
- and the list goes on
The first thing you need to do and this may be hard to do but you need to accept him the way he is. You may find it difficult to pray for him if you aren’t able to accept him as he is right now. That doesn’t mean he will stay this way, but this is who he is now.
After you declare to God that you accept your husband as he is, next you need to admit to God that you are struggling with your husband and your marriage. Be honest with God. He knows everything anyway, but it’s important for you to be honest with yourself about your situation.
Once you have done that, you can begin to pray, not only as per the prayer calendar provided above, but for your specific situations.
It Begins with You
While you may see your marriage in pain, remember that it takes two people to make a marriage. At least one of you must be willing to change. If you’re willing, then you need to be the one to take on the responsibility of prayer.
Pray for your marriage! Pray for yourself first then pray for him.
Then pray for God to reveal to you what you need to do to change. Psalm 66:18 says “if I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear.” It’s time
Confess your sins, your short-comings and let God set you free of anything that is not of Him. Your transformation is the first step in strengthening your marriage through prayer.
Praying for Those Obstacles
Your husband has a past. Whatever it was, it is something that effects him today. Whether he has anger issues, is manipulative, or addicted to alcohol or drugs, these aren’t obstacles that he chose to have. He is in bondage and you, dear wife, can pray for his release from bondage!
This is spiritual warfare and you need to see it as such. The enemy of your soul is out to take down your marriage and he will use anything he can to destroy you. Even your beloved husband.
So, establish a hedge of protection around your marriage using the authority that Jesus gave you in His name. Matthew 18:18 clearly says that “Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”
So, in prayer, submit to God whatever is controlling your husband and pray for his release from these bondages.
You may need to command satan and his demons more than once to release your husband so don’t give up. Those claws may be dug deep in him and they’ll refuse to leave so keep on commanding them. Send them to the feet of Jesus and let Jesus deal with them.
You’ve heard of The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, right? He teaches how to keep the love tank full and discovering what your love language is. He has authored many books on “love language” as well as marriage books. However, I mentioned him because I wanted to say that the ultimate love language between a husband and wife is when they pray for each other. That is inferred, I think, by the kind of books that Gary writes.
Nothing says you love him better than lifting him up to God in prayer!
When you pray for your husband, thinking of his needs, his desires, and yes, his obstacles, you are lavishing love on him. He may not even know it but changes have begun, if not in him right now, but in the spirit realm before it becomes a reality.
Praying for your husband brings you together, even if the outward appearance doesn’t reveal that. God is always working behind the scenes, in the spirit realm and soon you will see the evidence of things not yet seen, Hebrews 11:1.
Pray the Word of God for Your Marriage
The Word of God is powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword, Hebrews 4:12, and His Word will not return unto Him void, Isaiah 55:11. Paul lists the Sword of the Spirit as one of the
So, when you pray the Word, you can trust God to perform it.
The prayer calendar I gave you up above contains more than 31 Scriptures to pray, not only for restoration but also for strengthening and improving your marriage.
Your marriage will be healed one prayer at a time. While there are 31 themes to use in prayer for your marriage, you don’t
Your marriage will be healed one prayer at a time!
The obstacles in your marriage, while they may not be named on the prayer calendar, they can be incorporated as you pray for him. For example, Day 11 is Gentleness and Kindness. If your husband is a man of manipulation or abusiveness, praying for him to be gentle and kind will help him overcome this bondage.
While I believe the enemy will leave when you command him to leave, your husband needs to learn a new way of living. From abusiveness to kindness. From addiction to alcohol, drugs or even work, to learning to take a day of rest (Day 24) or improving his work relationships (Day 21). If he’s been full of anger, he needs to learn how to love you (Day 10) or how not to grieve the Holy Spirit (Day 22).
By the way, I wrote a blog post on that topic, 5 Things that Grieve the Holy Spirit. As you read this, you can use it to pray for him in this area as well.
So, remember to use the Word of God as your prayer arsenal against the unseen forces. The Word is alive, is Powerful and is Truth and God will perform that which He said He would do!
The Unbelieving Husband
Your husband may not have the same faith as you. He may be an athe
You may have a great relationship with your husband. You loved him when you married him and you still love him now. The only issue may be that he doesn’t accept your faith, or, that he isn’t interested in becoming a Christian himself.
Either way, he still needs your prayers AND he needs you to not harp about God to him. Peter teaches this in 1 Peter 3:1-2 when he said for wives to let their conduct win over their husbands. Remember that your actions will speak louder than words.
Your Words are Powerful
So, what do you do? There’s something very powerful that you can do and it’s with your words. Your words are serious business! You can speak kindness to someone or you can tear them down. King Solomon says that death and life are in the power of the tongue. James teaches that the tongue is a fire and cannot be tamed, James 3:1-10.
Yes, your words are powerful. Speak from your spirit and not your mind. Don’t focus on what you see around you but focus on what you see in the spirit realm. Paul said in Romans 4:17 that God ...calleth those things which be not as though they were. This, combined with, “the evidence of things not yet seen”, Hebrews 11:1, is powerful!
So, dear sister, use your words to speak life, to speak faith, to speak the promises of God into being!
Pray these things with great expectation and you’ll see significant answers to your prayers.
Three Marriage Resources
Since I am not an expert on the topic of marriage, I would like to offer you three resources that I trust would be of benefit to you.
Focus on the Family has some articles and podcasts of interest. If you click on “All topics,” you’ll see a broader list of available resources.
Desiring God has several articles on marriage. You might find something there that answers your questions.
IBelieve.com has a list of 25 Best Christian Marriage Resources and Gary Chapman (author of 5 Love Languages that I mentioned earlier on) is listed as #5 in the Top 5 Marriage Curriculum/Workbooks for his book on The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted.
That’s a Wrap
So there you have it. I’ve given you a free prayer calendar called A Wife’s 31 Days of Prayer for Her Marriage that contains over 31 Scripture verses that you can pray for and over your husband and yourself.
We’ve touched on
- how to pray and break bondages that may be controlling your husband.
- the importance of praying for yourself first and submitting to God to change you.
- praying unselfishly and that prayer for your husband is the ultimate love language.
- the power of your words and to speak into being those things that aren’t as though they are, Romans 4:17.
finallyI shared some marriage resources for you to check out.
I trust that this post has been helpful but the truth of it is, it will only help you as much as you are willing to do the work. And as you pray for your marriage to be restored or improved, you’ll find that it is work. The corresponding actions on your part will be work, too. But it’s the cost of working through to see true unity in spirit and in marriage.
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Cindy Barnes has been called by God in the early 80s to be a teacher of His Word. She is a serious student of the Word, focusing on the Inductive Bible Study Method since 2007. Her passion is to teach women how to study the Bible using this method. In addition, she desires for women to develop an intense yearning to draw closer to God through reading and writing out the Bible.
Cindy teaches hundreds of women in her private online Bible Study Group who express their joy of growing deeper in their spiritual walk.
You can stay in touch with Cindy on Facebook through Women’s Tabletop Friendship.